


I'll Be Home For Christmas

by Beatles_and_Bellarke



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Gen, Mentions of bill mike and eddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-26 23:24:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21108890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beatles_and_Bellarke/pseuds/Beatles_and_Bellarke
Summary: Richie is ready for a new beginning, but he's not sure he can handle being back in Derry.





	I'll Be Home For Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This was sorta fluffy but also real angsty and i'm not sure i'm that satisfied with how I wrote somethings but here ya go.

Christmas had always been a lonely time for Richie Tozier. He had less gigs because his regular audience was gone on vacation and the gigs he did have were for date nights which merely reminded him he’d be alone forever. 

The Christmas after the losers defeated Pennywise a second time was the most painful of all. Richie lost something incredibly important in his life. His best friend  _ and  _ the love of his life. Then they were expected to all just go on with their normal lives. Bill and Mike were happy together in Florida. Richie heard from them, time to time. Bev and Ben moved back to Derry now that the town was safer. Richie has always known they were the ones in the group to go back and raise their children in their hometown no matter how fucked up it left them. 

Richie left Derry and never wanted to go back. The pain was too intense to stay long. Brief trips here and there were doable depending on how he felt that day. But nothing longer than two weeks. And he always ended up going home a day or two earlier than planned. A Derry without Eddie or Stan is no Derry in Richie’s book. 

The phone rang, jostling Richie from his sleep. A quick glance at the clock told him it was 5am and no one called at this hour, so it must be urgent. He scrambled out of bed and rushed to answer it. 

“Hello?” 

“Richie??”

“Yes this is him.” Richie was still waking up so Bev’s voice floated in and out of his consciousness. He recognized her immediately but couldn’t place a name at first. Dumbly, he asked, “who is this?” 

“Oh sorry I know it’s early. It’s Beverly!”

“Ahhh hi Bev! How ya been?? How’s Ben?” 

“Good, Good! we’re both well! How are you?”

“Oh y’know me. I’m surviving! Therapy twice a week, gigs the rest of it. Living the PTSD life.” His voice broke but he tried to keep a humorous lilt. Bev caught on but mercifully didn’t say anything about it.

“That’s great, Rich! I’m glad you’re doing well. Listen, I know this isn’t great timing. But me and Ben are having a Christmas party in a couple weeks and we’d love for it to be a mini loser club reunion.” 

Richie’s stomach plummeted. Beverly must have heard it because she spoke softer, “I know it’ll be difficult for you without Eds. But we’d really like you to come. We miss you, Richie. You couldn’t come in September or November when we’d tried to plan something. So we wanted to make sure we included you this time.” 

“Beverly, I really appreciate the thought. I do. And of course you know I’d love to be there. I’m just not sure I can do it. I’m taking medication now to help with my depression.” Quietly, more to himself than Bev, “god Eds would hate that. He had to take so much and none of it helped him. I wish he was here.” 

The dam broke. Everything crashed down around him just like that fucking house on Neibolt Street. Richie wanted to scream. His throat was on fire in the effort to keep emotion suppressed.

Finally he just started to weep. Once the tears fell, they wouldn’t stop. The wetness muffled the receiver. Richie could only hear snatches of Beverly’s voice. His sobs bubbled up. He tried not to make any noise but every breath hurt. 

“Hey, hey Rich. You’re okay. I’m right here. Ben’s here too. You’re safe.” Beverly’s voice felt warm. 

Richie took several deep breaths. He calmed himself just as he’d learned to do in therapy. After counting backwards from 10, he was ready to speak again.

“I’m sorry to do that while we’re on the phone. It just came without warning. The medication has suppressed any and all emotions to keep me sane. So now I just don’t feel anything. But with you guys, I feel everything. Stronger than ever.” 

“Richie Tozier. You are brave and kind and funny. You make Eddie proud everyday just by being you and living.” Her voice held such deep conviction in it that Richie found himself agreeing with her. His usual self-loathing didn’t fly with this Beverly. 

In a whole different voice, she changed back to the matter at hand. 

“Just think about the party, okay? You don’t even have to stay the week. Just stay the night and head home.” 

Richie thought about it. He thought about being surrounded by his family. The family that really matters. He hated feeling isolated from them. He needed to go back, as much as he despised how Derry makes him remember everything as soon as he walks through the borders. He remembers everything anyway, all the time and he’s sick of it. Hopefully, living in Derry will bring his mind to a dull roar. 

“I know this is sorta a lot to ask and of course you can say no. But would I be able to just stay with you and Ben until I can find my own place? In Derry?” 

“Are you sure? I mean you are always welcome of course but is it really Derry where you want to live?” 

“Yeah. I have to get some stuff in order but I’ll be there for the party and I’ll figure out the rest as the time comes.” 

Bev smiled despite knowing he couldn’t see her. 

“Okay, Rich. I hope to see you soon. I love you.” 

“Love you too, Bev. Tell Ben hi and that I love and miss him as well.” 

She hung up the phone. 

“Are you alright? Is Richie okay?” 

“Yeah, he’ll be fine.” She said, placing a hand on Ben’s arm and gently dragging him down to the kitchen. “C’mon! We’ve got a party to plan!” 


End file.
